EPISODE THREE: The Caverns

As they make their way up the mountain trail, the party passes a series of caverns. In one of them, they hear what sounds like the scream from a hot, young girl. The party ventures into the cavern and is almost immediately confronted by three goblins who start chanting in unison “You shall not pass. This is the lair of our master!”

TRITHAL (20/20 HP; 10/10 SP; 35/3000 EXP) reaches behind his back and withdraws a small clay jar out of nowhere and throws it onto the ground. From within out fly a bunch of what looks like fireflies. The surrounding area is illuminated and now he can see the true form of the enemies.... unfortunately he's already spent his turn.

AXEM's cellphone rings. He answers, and then starts walking toward the exit of the cavern to get a better signal. He doesn't seem to care anymore about the fight in progress. The remaining party members begin to cuss him out.

THRAX (18/18 HP; 25/25 SP; 29/3000 EXP), seeing the true nature and weaknesses of the enemies now illuminated by TRITHAL's orb, produces a magic wand and uses 5 SP to cast a spell on one of them. The target loses 9/20 HP. The remaining two are undamaged.

CHRIS becomes distracted with the plant life and fungi growing around him. He starts rambling on about horticulture shit that no one else seems to care about. He also doesn't seem to care about the fight.

The enemies group together and combine their energy to do a collective attack. TRITHAL, THRAX and CHRIS each loose 2 HP. AXEM is still talking on the phone outside and is unaffected..

TRITHAL, again, copies another move from an anime he's seen a million times and withdraws his Katana blade. He opens a wound on his left hand and drips some blood onto the blade of his sword. The sword now glows bright red. TRITHAL then shouts something in Japanese and strikes the sword toward the enemies. He spends 4 SP The one THRAX wounded earlier is now almost dead. The remaining two loose 6/20 HP.

AXEM finishes with his phone call, but before returning to the fight makes another call. THRAX gives him the finger.

THRAX pulls a leather-bound book from inside his robe and opens it, and begins reading from it. Creatures from the under-world begin to converge on the enemies. When the creatures see the enemies faces, a third of them run away in fear. The remaining start bombarding the enemies. The injured one dies, and everyone gains 8 EXP. The remaining two loose 3 HP. They are now almost dead.

CHRIS has found a flower that looks like a vagina. He attempts to put his dick into it and realizes it's a carnivorous plant. He starts screaming like a little girl. The high-pitched noise echoes throughout the cavern and causes the remaining two goblins' heads to explode. The party gains 16 EXP.

TRITHAL uses a magic scroll to heal all the injured party members, including CHRIS's penis.

AXEM finally gets off the phone and says, "So where did the enemy go?" THRAX bitch-slaps him.